What To Say When Someone Tells You They Have Cancer – Telling someone you care about that they hurt you is scary. You may worry that you will hurt someone’s feelings or that you will come across as too aggressive. occasionally We want to talk about what upsets us, but we don’t want to ruin the relationship.
Far from ruining the friendship, finding a good way to communicate your negative feelings to someone you care about can really deepen the bond you have.
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Here are some examples of how to tell someone you’re hurt and what you can think about to make the conversation more tactful and productive.
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When a friend hurts you, it’s worth taking some time to understand exactly why you’re upset. sometimes This is connected to something from your past.
For example, If you’re hurt that your friend didn’t invite you to your birthday party. You may realize that you felt as a child because your sisters were invited to events and felt left out.
Understanding your feelings will help you decide to tell your friend about them. Sometimes they didn’t do anything wrong, but you get hurt. It can help explain what’s going on, rather than suggesting they’re angry or irrational.
“I’ve been in pain lately. I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong, but I want to explain why it came out of my childhood and why I’m upset.”
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See our tips for improving self-awareness for tips to help you understand your feelings.
If you’re trying to maintain a friendship, it’s helpful to think about that at the beginning of the conversation. Find out when you have nothing to do for a few hours and when you are stressed or focused on something else.
Remember, they don’t know what will happen to them in life. When you talk about the problem, try to get them to talk a little. Let them know that you want to talk to them about something difficult, and ask them when would be a good time for them.
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“There is something I want to tell you. Can you tell me when we have a free evening to talk?”
Try explaining to the other person why you are having this conversation. Chances are, your friend is important to you and you want to keep the relationship strong. Explaining this shows them that you’re interested in solving the problem, not just chewing on it.
“I want to tell you because this is on my mind, I want to clear the air.”
“Your friendship is really important to me and I wish we could be honest with each other about everything. To be completely honest, there’s something annoying about it. I want to tell you.”
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“I’ve been thinking about something lately and I’m not sure if I’ll implement it. I realized that I would be sad if you thought I couldn’t say that it hurt you. I thought I’d give it to you to let you know how I feel.”
The language you use is key to helping a friend tell you that they are affecting you in a positive way.
If you’re not sure how to tell someone they’ve hurt you without blaming them. Communicate your feelings with concrete actions rather than thinking about their feelings or their motivations.
When you explain to a friend that they hurt you, it can be tempting to downplay how upset you were. If you can summon the courage to go head-to-head with them, it’s better to be truly honest than sugar-coat it.
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Minimizing the way you’re feeling can make the other person think that they don’t need to change their behavior or that what they did was so bad. You can be angry without understanding well.
Instead, Be really honest about how you feel. This is scary because it makes your friend vulnerable. Remind yourself that you’re being brave by promoting content. Being honest now will be less awkward and awkward than having a conversation later.
When a friend hurts you, The conversation may tell them what they did wrong and make them feel like they should be listened to. It’s important to listen to what they have to say if you want to rebuild your relationship.
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If you’re still very hurt or angry, I’d like to wait until you can openly listen to the other person before starting a conversation.
Your friend may remember the situation differently; Or they didn’t know you were unhappy. They may feel bad when they realize they hurt you and this can make them angry. You don’t have to accept poor behavior from them or believe what they say. But keeping an open mind helps.
If you want to keep a friendship after you’ve been hurt. Try to keep the conversation positive. Focusing on what you want the other person to do differently in the future shows that you still want them to be a part of your life.
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When someone hurts you, it’s easy to feel like you’re being dismissed as a bad person.
Talking about how you want them to behave differently in the future shows that you still don’t care about them while setting clear boundaries with your friend.
Explaining how you want them to behave in the future helps your friend understand exactly why you’re unhappy with their behavior. Sometimes the other person will thank you for opening the conversation and explaining what you need in the future. You may know you’ve made a mistake, but you’re not sure how to fix it. Telling them what you want to do differently can take the pressure off them.
“I feel really disrespected when you yell at me. I understand you were upset, But in the future, when you feel that way, you need to be able to take a minute and respectfully say what’s bothering you.”
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“I really need you to let me know if you’re going to be late so I don’t keep you waiting anymore.”
When your friend tries to talk to you about hurting you, It is important to stay focused on the issue at hand and not dwell on old arguments and controversies.
For example, writing down your thoughts in an unsent letter or email can help you straighten out your thoughts and help you focus on a problem.
These types of statements often lead your conversations to arguing about past poor behavior or arguing about who did what at various points in the past.
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“I think we’re starting to drift into a general fight rather than trying to solve the problem we started. We may need to talk about other things, but could you please save that for a later conversation?
Talking to a friend who has hurt you can be an intense emotional experience, and if the conversation isn’t going well, it’s good to take a break. If you need to take a break, explain to the other person why you need it and why.
“I still want to talk about it, but I feel pretty excited already,” she said. I suspect you might too. How about we take a break for half an hour and come back there?”
Back to the conversation. Letting the conversation slide without resolving the argument makes it harder to talk about it later. If you decide to hold off on speaking for half an hour or more. Before you leave, try to plan when you will speak again.
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“I agree that we shouldn’t be talking right now, but I don’t want this hanging over us any longer than necessary. Are you free to talk more tomorrow at lunch?”
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