What To Do When Someone Gives You The Silent Treatment – This article was co-authored by Trudy Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudy Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin specializing in addictions and mental health. She provides therapy to people struggling with addictions, mental health and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 10 references cited in this article, which are located at the bottom of the page.
What To Do When Someone Gives You The Silent Treatment
It’s not entirely in your control whether someone likes you or not, but you can positively influence their decision. Increase your chances of liking someone—whether you’re a new friend or a romantic interest—by smiling and being cheerful when you’re around them. It’s also a good idea to find out their interests and get them talking. No matter what, be yourself. If they can’t love you for who you are, they’re not worth the effort anyway!
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This article was co-authored by Trudy Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudy Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin specializing in addictions and mental health. She provides therapy to people struggling with addictions, mental health and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 797,653 times.
To get someone to like you, start by smiling when you see them. This will make you look more likeable and attractive. In conversations, use open-ended questions to get them to talk about their hobbies and interests. People love to talk about themselves, and this can help you discover common interests you may share. As they speak, listen carefully by making eye contact, leaning forward slightly, nodding and understanding. If you can, give them a compliment or make them smile. As you interact more, let your quirks show. Share silly things about yourself, like you dip your fries in barbecue sauce or like to paint with your fingers, because it can bring you closer together. Prioritize spending time with the person and don’t be afraid to do them a favor, like watching their pets for the weekend. Asking for a service can also help you connect. Make sure I practice good personal hygiene by showering, brushing my teeth, applying deodorant and wearing clean clothes. Finally, remember that you are a good person. Don’t change your personality or beliefs for someone because the right person will appreciate you for you. For tips on how to become even closer friends, read on! When people care about us, they often can’t help but give advice when we have a problem. It can be annoying and frustrating, and let’s face it, COMPLETELY USELESS!
When someone I care about is going through a hard time, I just want them out of it, I want the bad time to pass as soon as possible, I don’t like to see them suffer and stressed, it causes me suffering and stress too. I want them to be happy and calm and at peace, full of joy for the world.
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Often this concern of mine for my friend will turn into ADVICE GIVING. If you just do the kiss, your problem will be over and you can relax again. If only you talked to kiz and told them abc, your problem will be over and you can relax again. If you just cut this person out of your life, or move to another city, or get a new job, or do one of many other things, your problem will be over and you can go back to a “normal” life.
The problem with giving advice is that it’s rarely helpful. Things that worked for me won’t necessarily work for my friend, we live different lives. Also, by giving advice and rushing to a conclusion, the other person can easily feel that I just don’t want to listen to their problems.
I know for myself, having been counseled before, that sometimes I just want to talk about something, I don’t need a solution, I really need a sympathetic ear. I want a sounding board so I can discuss my problem freely and without judgment until I find a solution myself. The act of talking about it can be cathartic and when someone jumps right into giving advice, no matter how well-intentioned, I feel that they just can’t be bothered with me and my problems, that they don’t want to listen, they I’m too busy or, on some occasions , they just don’t care about me.
This is often not true because I have great friends and family who care about my happiness and want me to have the best that life has to offer, but certainly
Bianca Sparacino Quote: “if Someone Cannot Reciprocate Your Love, If Someone Cannot Give You What You Truly Deserve, You Have To Understand That …”
It has the side effect of silencing me, pushing me away, until I feel there’s no point in trying to talk to someone because I won’t get anything out of it.
Over the years I have come to the conclusion that the best way to support someone is not to give advice, but to just listen. Just ask questions, never give advice.
For example, when a friend recently went through a very traumatic breakup with her boyfriend, many people offered useless advice such as “Just get over it”, “There are plenty of fish in the sea”, “6 months from now you won’t even remember him”, “he doesn’t deserve you”, and my favorite “I never liked him anyway” (this was said to another friend who was in a relationship for years, which made her wonder why no one had said anything to her before).
Also read how the practice of gratitude made me a kinder, better and more likable person. Don’t steal someone’s opportunity for personal growth
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The problem is, whatever wisdom you and I may have gained from our own past experiences, at this point this person has their own experience to live through. They grow and gain wisdom, learn new things about the world and themselves. You can’t speed up that process or speed it up or jump over it. That’s right and everyone has their own pace.
So yes, maybe all that advice is true and correct, but for this person right now, it’s useless because they don’t have the experience yet to see the truth of that advice.
But more importantly, we can’t simply turn off our emotions just because we know the other person doesn’t love us anymore, or maybe they never loved us.
No advice has ever made anyone say, “Oh, I’m just over it now.” Your heart doesn’t work that way. He feels what he feels, you can’t just turn it off just because you don’t think it’s helpful to your life. If you could it would probably make you a psychopath or a robot or something, in fact I can’t think of anything on this planet that could have emotions and turn them off at will like touch.
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Pushing someone to rush through emotions is like trying to tell them to stop breathing. It really can’t be done, so stop doing it, stop trying to fix their life. You can’t, you deny them the opportunity as a human being to grow and develop, gain wisdom and experience that no one can take away from them. Let them have this, it will make them stronger and better.
So next time, instead of trying to fix things for them by giving advice, simply listen patiently, ask questions occasionally, and let them talk until they’ve examined the problem from every angle.
It takes time, so at first it might be more than you can handle, having to sit through another bottle of wine listening to your friend obsess over why so-and-so can’t love her.
The only advice you should give is to remind your friend that it’s not her fault, she didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing wrong with her, sometimes these things just happen no matter what you do. People fall in love with other people no matter how beautiful, funny, intelligent or kind you are. Sometimes they just find that one person they feel more connected to than you and THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
Respect Is Earned, Not Given, As You Can’t Force Others To Give You Respect
When my grandmother died recently, my mother was devastated, she felt so guilty about leaving my grandmother in the hospital to do the laundry. My grandmother was in the hospital for more than 3 weeks and every day my mother would spend the whole day in the hospital, making sure that my grandmother takes her pills, eats food, has clean clothes, reads her books, does puzzles with her, guide her for walks in a wheelchair, you help her with delicate tasks like going to the toilet or bathing, and she would do that ALL DAY. It completely satisfied my grandmother’s needs
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